I'd like to say this is the worst week i have ever experienced in my whole life...absolutely THE WORST...i hate my life...why is it when you try to help out in a situation people blame you for helping them out...they are all acting like immature babies...the whole bunch of them...and we call ourselves "Christians"...for what? We sure don't act like one. If someone gave somebody else money from a shared bank account...and he, the person, who wrote the check is dead...you don't go to the person that the deceased wrote the check to and ask for the money back...for what?!? WHY!?!??!?! WHY? WHY? WHY?!!!???!?!?! Pride? Jealousy? It is not like they don't have enough money already...they haven't ever been unemployed, they live in a humongous house that really is not needed for only TWO people, they earn AMERICAN DOLLARS, we don't, they don't have to provide for any children...because they somehow 'decided' not to have children, they're rich...we're not...we have a mortgage to still pay for, there are more than TWO people to look after, we've experienced unemployment before, we are basically everything they are not...WHY?!?!? Why are people so greedy? WHY are they acting like immature babies?!?! The whole lot of them, from fighting over flowers, to funeral proceedings, my grandpa's wishes, the forsaken list goes on...i hate this i hate this I HATE THIS!!!!!! Just leave me alone...just leave me alone...i don't want to go to church, i don't feel like talking to anybody, i just want to sleep and for all this nonsense fighting to go away...i just wanna go home...home not here, but in heaven...things here are too stressful, too complicated, so stupid, i don't want any part of it...i just...just want to be alone with Jesus...because only He alone knows my pain and suffering...i really don't need this kind of garbage, and at the moment i am really fighting the urge to cuss...i don't want to cuss though, it is totally unnecessary...stupid...i need a punching bag...a stupid kickboxing dummy...i need to yell, scream, and punch something really hard before i lose my mind...why do people act so immaturely? They all disgust me...the whole lot of them...*eyes bulging...tearing up*...Lord, please take me away...i don't want any of this...i want to be at peace...where everything is perfect...and You are in control...*screams*...too many troubles and problems...why can't i be a stupid kid and not know anything...*HUGE sigh*...hopefully my brother and i can learn from these children/people...because i can't stand this stupid bickering...absolute nonsense, if my grandfather were only here...he'd chastise them all pretty bad...but who am i to dictate...or say this...i know that i am also not perfect...we live in a sinful world...Satan works here. Oh Lord...i ask that you give me the strength to go on...i know that for everything there is a plan...what plan i don't know, but You alone are Commander of everything...i know that i can put my full trust in You alone...no one can be compared to You...oh Abba...i'm so glad i have You...so glad that You have given me so many friends...but some good Christian friends who understand what i am going through, and are willing to help me in any way they can...thank you Lord for that...i truly appreciate the small and few Christian friends that i have...hopefully i can be as good of a sister in Christ to them as they are to me...yes, i know that they may not totally understand all that is happening in my life, but i thank you for letting me know them, and giving a chance to share my feelings, and for them to provide guidance and wisdom to me. Abba, my Precious Abba, i love you...