i can't believe that winter is now officially here...time flies...and deadlines are looming overhead...ahhh...i think i am overstressing myself, i dunno...is that a good thing? I should feel some pressure tho...i do want to do well, but i know that i can't do things alone...*sigh*...sometimes i get so caught up in my busy world that i forget to lean on God, i need to learn to let go...but letting go is so hard...i like to be in control...i like to know what will happen next...i don't think i am that extreme 'do it myself' person, but i know that sometimes i forget to trust that God will carry me through my trials and everyday life...my pin no. came...getting ready for uni...at the moment my marks aren't up to par yet, but i know that if God wants me to go somewhere, He will make it possible for me to go to wherever He wants me to go...was going to have a grad car rally this weekend, except that the weather was kinda really yucky, so they postponed it to Dec 12...still pysched to go...*laugh*...yes! more independence from parents. Seriously tho, i really think that my parents are starting to kinda, sorta let go of me...they are definitely letting me do more things that i normally wouldn't do...a friend of mine just recently celebrated her 18th b-day...i couldn't go cuz it was too short notice for me, and parents weren't home at the time to confer, but i think that if i had asked them if i could go to her party, they might have let me...*still iffy*, but yeah, there were alcoholic beverages, but i think that my parents trust me enough to handle myself maturely...serious. Just found out this weekend that Andrew just got a gf...i find it interesting and funny at the same time...who knew eh? He was like an introvert, very smart and stuff...and he's got a gf before me and scott! *laugh*...i really got to meet his gf...i'm really interested in what he likes about her...cuz he's not exactly your typical guy...i mean, how many guys out there..(mabbe i haven't been shown this yet, anyways)...who have basically everything a girl could want...the smarts (believe me, he is a genius), athletic, mature but still knows how to have fun, humourous, caring, compassionate...*laugh*...i could mabbe go on for a few more sentences about my friend, but seriously? How many guys out there are like that? I know of many 'boys' in my school who have only either one or two of these characteristics, and many of them are very VERY egotistic...:P not that i am against all boys mind you...just the ones that i have observed in school and stuff. *laugh*...don't get me started about scott now...*laugh**huge sigh*...another week, another load of homework, another week to Christmas! I cannot wait for the holidays...not only are some of my close friends coming back from uni, but i can see andrew, scott, jas, work w/ my dad in the basement to build a bathroom, have fun w/ my friends...*laugh*...homework...oh, almost forgot...another week closer to when i can get my G2! Ai ya...this weather is going to freeze my bum...*grumble* walking home from school...:P where's andrew and scott when you need them eh? *sniff sniff* i want to drive MY car!!! pffftt...yes, MY car NOW,

"Never walk away from someone who needs help; your hand is God's hand for that person." - Proverbs 3:27 (THE MESSAGE)

feeling kinda frustrated about school...marks are not as high as i would like them to be...starting to even wonder if i will even get into EARLY admission...*sigh*...am i not trying hard enough? What is God trying to teach me here? Endurance? ack...also falling behind in keeping in touch with ppl...need to call Andrew sometime...haven't chatted with him in a while...same as Jer. I never knew life could hold so much stress...i can't WAIT to get to uni when there is going to be even MORE stress...ai ya...i don't like stress. Got up to go to band early this morning...:P i think it has been the earliest i have woken up on a school day for this year...6:59am...haha. Do i miss band? I dunno...things have changed since Link left...no more relaxation really...>.< Yesterday i went to do some calc hwk and couldn't find my TI-83...went through everything...bag, room, desk...i couldn't believe i had lost it...hoped this morning that the calculator would be in my locker...searched everywhere...top, books, in binders, asked the office, math department (they have like 50 TI-83's mabbe mine would be there?), checked computer lab because that is the last place i used it (Data Mgmt), checked lost and found...oh man...i prayed really hard...REALLY hard...if i lost my calculator not only would i not have a calculator to work w/, but my parents would literally KILL me...that calc. is worth over $100 moolah. *Praise God*...seriously, no joke...i was really worried...was i really that forgetful? I go to my Data Mgmt class...and my friend hands me a TI-83...*gasp* MY CALCULATOR!!!! Boy did i say something to her...no no j/k, but i asked how it fell into her hands and another girl in our class had accidently taken it last class thinking it was her own TI-83...Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord. Another answered prayer! :) *One good happy thing that happened today* Oh yeah...for CANFAM (Canadian Families) we are studying the movie "Pleasantville"...never seen it...very *social sciences* apparently...CHEM and Data Mgmt tests coming up...going to study hard for them...*need marks, need marks*...i know i can do all things if i just put my full trust in Him...*lead me, love me, mold me, i am Yours* Another thing...grad photos coming up...actually kinda excited about it...some ppl are actually planning to get a makeover for the pics...don't know if it is really worth it...you have to like spend $40 before you can get a makeover...prolly get mom to do the makeup for me on grad photo day...mabbe i might do a makeover for prom?!?! Dunno...not really worried about that stuff yet...have to get through this present stuff first *focus Benita focus*

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat -- I am."
- Luke 9:23 (THE MESSAGE) Thought it was a nice reassurance for all...just sit back and relax, but be ready to help when you're needed...