These past few days have been a little bit offsetting to say the least. It's a little bit disconcerting...i dunno know what to think. Can i just act like a bad lil princess and scream aloud? Who am i? How do ppl view me? What do they think of me? Am i a little bit on the weird side? How am i supposed to act? What's the proper etiquette? How am i amplifying God's love in me? Do ppl see it? Why am i happy? i know i'm happy internally b/c i have the greatest Best Friend and Father in the whole wide universe and received the best gift ever given to me. Outwardly? I must say that i have not honestly have had a truly 'happy' laugh for a long long time. I do admit i laugh easily, giggle alot...but it really doesn't mean i'm totally happy, does it? No. I don't feel like i've honestly felt comfortably happy for some time. Highlight of the week was talking to my family via video conference...it was really awesome just to see and talk to them...just to express my thoughts, feelings, concerns. =P I like talked to them for like 2hrs online. It felt really good after saying bye to them...my lil bro never forgets to say that he loves me...and that means so much to me right now. I don't really understand this world...and i'm not too sure i want to...it's really messed up. So many secrets. Went to a job fair today...it was kinda interesting, providing that we only had ten min b/f our next class. Went up to a recruitment table...i think i might just consider it...but don't know if it's a viable option right now...joining the Canadian Forces. I would be studying for them kinda, they would pay for my education and everything...and i would serve them for like 3yrs after i graduate. I would go to school during the yr and go to training camp during the summer...and it could be in Ottawa. I dunno...i wouldn't mind it...there's the benefits of a job, pensions =P. I think i can handle it...i mean...training camp...it's not like i haven't done some hardcore training in my life b/f w/ swimming, soccer and stuff. With God i can do all things, conquer all things ^^. Bible study on mon. was really good...i'm learning so much right now...trying to understand God's purposes and parables- Luke 15. *sigh* Life down here right now is very hard to live through and understand. I need you Abba...hold me, tell me that You'll always be there for me...telling me that You love me. You alone satisfy all my desires and longings...i look to You alone.
As your words are taught, they give light; even the simple can understand them.
Psalm 119:130 NLT
Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.
Psalm 119:105 NLT